He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
foreskin is a definite game changer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
