The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize