new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
