chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize