sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
