he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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