i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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