DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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