How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
