Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
