you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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