I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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