dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
