why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
