just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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