His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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