Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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