dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
