She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
