you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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