God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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