Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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