i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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