My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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