My friends, they love my intelligence
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
