ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
