Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
