Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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