I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
