p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
