Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
