I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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