they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
