They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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