I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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