she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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