hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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