from now on my penis is your penis
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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