After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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