Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
