I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny