please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century