I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?