i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again