Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
