Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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