Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??