...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
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