im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
