I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
