yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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