You can't motorboat a personality
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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