I wish you could order shots online.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize