I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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