It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
