North Korea, Best Korea!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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