wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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