So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
