yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
