Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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