I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
