At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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