If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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