I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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