Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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