Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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