So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry my hands just texted you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
