she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
