Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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