That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
