I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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